Leading a team isn’t always plain sailing.
You might catch yourself thinking:
- “Why don’t they just get on with it?”
- “I’ve got enough on my plate – why do I have to keep checking up on them?”
- “Managing them feels like babysitting. When will they take responsibility (like I do)?”
Does any of this sound familiar? It’s easy to slip into frustration when your team isn’t stepping up. But leadership isn’t about either babysitting or barking orders. It’s about empowering your team to thrive – and that starts with you.
Don’t fall into extremes
When you realise being too friendly doesn’t work (see this article), you might be tempted to swing the other way, becoming the distant, authoritarian boss you swore you’d never be.
Callum, a top-performing salesperson, fell into this trap when he was promoted to regional manager.
Callum’s leadership fail
Callum was brilliant at sales. Passionate, driven, and people-focused, he built lasting relationships with his clients. But after his promotion, things went downhill fast.
Suddenly, Callum stopped connecting with his team. He buried himself in admin, only emerging to deliver stern reprimands when something went wrong. Within months, his once-thriving team was angry, demoralised, and underperforming. What went wrong?
In coaching, we explored why this gentle, committed and personable man had turned into Attila the Hun. We discovered that this was his picture of what a manager should be, clearly based on his early experience in sales – commanding, cold, and aloof.
Although he understood this, Callum still struggled to find an alternative place to come from in managing his team. So, we explored the concept of reframing leadership as partnership.
Great leadership: partnership, not power.
Picture this:
A man is exploring Heaven and Hell.
In both places, there’s a table overflowing with delicious food. But there’s a twist – everyone has spoons so long they can’t feed themselves.
In Hell, people are starving, too focused on their own hunger to realise the solution.
In Heaven, they’re thriving. Why? Because they’re feeding each other.
This is partnership in action: working together so everyone wins.
Callum 2.0
Once Callum really got this, everything changed.
He went to his team, apologised for his behaviour, and took the time to reconnect. He asked each person what they needed, listened, and delivered on his promises. Within weeks, morale skyrocketed. His team started communicating better, results surged, and Callum rediscovered what leadership was really about.
How to build a culture of partnership
- Put your team first Focus on what you can do to help your team succeed – not what they can do for you. And expect others to do the same. It’s not instinctive, but it’s transformative.
- Trust the process Partnership isn’t about instant gratification. Commit to the mindset, and the results will speak for themselves.
- Celebrate team wins Individual achievements are great, but team success builds momentum. Create opportunities to reward collective effort.
- Lead with generosity Be supportive and proactive, not because you expect something in return, but because it’s the right thing to do.
- Own your failures together If one person falls short, it’s a shared responsibility – a team issue. Teach your team to support each other.
- No room for selfishness Emphasise that this is a team-first culture. Make it clear that self-serving behaviour won’t fly.
Ready to lead differently?
When you shift from “managing” to “partnering,” you move from managing tasks to building a culture of collaboration and accountability. The shift might feel counterintuitive at first, but the payoff – a thriving, high-performing team – is worth it.
Start small: ask your team what they need to succeed and really listen. Then, deliver. You’ll be amazed at the difference one small step can make.