Let’s talk about one-to-ones…
Not the drive-by chats. Not the quick sync in the lift. Not the “we talk all the time” shrug.
I mean proper, structured, intentional one-to-one meetings with your direct reports. The kind that actually enhance performance, trust, and accountability.
Because if you don’t take them seriously, no one else will either.
What we hear all the time…
When I ask SME leaders, “Do you hold regular one-to-ones with your team?” the answers are pretty predictable:
- “We do ours in the car between site visits.”
- “No need – we chat over coffee every morning.”
- “They just grab me when they need something.”
- “I take them out for lunch every now and then.”
None of these are wrong. They’re just not enough.
Why one-to-ones matter
Done well, monthly one-to-one meetings are one of the most effective leadership tools you’ve got. They create a rhythm, a sense of progress, a space where your people can think with you, not just work for you. They’re where:
- Problems come to light early, before they explode.
- Performance gets steered in the right direction.
- People feel heard, valued, and motivated.
- You hold them to account and help them grow.
And when you do them properly, your team stops depending on you for everything – because they’re clearer, more confident, and better supported.
What a good one-to-one looks like
Here are the key ingredients of a great one-to-one (no taxi required):
Set it up like it matters
- Schedule it monthly and treat it as non-negotiable. Cancelling or getting distracted says, “You’re not a priority.”
- Block 40 minutes max. This is a focused conversation, not a ramble.
Work on the business, not in it
- This isn’t the time to chase deadlines or talk about client emails.
- Use it to zoom out: How are they performing? Where are they getting stuck? What’s next?
Use a light agenda
- Start with a quick check-in: “How are things outside of work?”
- Then move to performance: “How are you doing against your objectives?”
- Finish with clarity: “What are your next steps?”
Shift into coach mode
- Ask open questions.
- Don’t jump in with advice unless asked.
- Let them do most of the thinking and talking.
Let them take the notes
- This gives them ownership of their actions – not you.
- It’s informal, unless it’s linked to a formal performance process.
Don’t underestimate the impact
Leaders often think they don’t have time for one-to-ones – but I’d argue you don’t have time not to.
It’s the single most powerful way to:
- Build accountability without micromanaging.
- Create real engagement – not just job satisfaction.
- Strengthen your team’s ability to lead, solve and deliver without you.
Final thoughts
If you’re not holding regular one-to-ones with your team – or you are, but they’ve turned into rushed updates or venting sessions – now’s the time to reset.
Make space for your people. Expect more from the conversation.
Raise the bar on how you lead, one conversation at a time.
If you’d like a downloadable guide to holding effective one-to-ones, just click this link.